The world of wellness can feel out of reach and overly commercialised with many companies trying to sell you their product that will solve all your internal problems rather than solving your problem. Meditation however is an ancient form of self care that before it became fashionable has been used by many cultures and now there's science to back up much of this ancient wisdom. Meditation can however feel hard to engage with. I often hear the comment but I can’t clear all my thoughts’ or my mind and life is just too busy. This isn't a guide, there are many of those around but perhaps a little nudge to offer a perspective towards simply trying and seeing what you can learn and gain. Having experienced some benefits myself I wanted to delve further into this space, I therefore undertook my teacher training inorder to learn how to offer others guidance and incorporate aspects into a therapeutic setting. I found I learnt more than I had expected, about myself, philosophically about the practices but also experienced a shift in mindset. I want to share some of these reflections, and perhaps peak your interest.Â
If you're unfamiliar with meditation and have never heard of breathwork, here are some compelling reasons why they might be more valuable than you initially thought, as well as why your experience might differ from your expectations.
Lack of judgement - of oneself and one's thoughts, the idea is to simply notice
When we meditate we aim to minimise the judgement of how good we are at the action of meditation. Some days we can find it harder to sit still, we can be distracted easily or perhaps fall asleep. The practice is to challenge ourselves to realise that some days we find things easy and other days we can struggle, in the same way as in life and to not judge ourselves for that.Â
As thoughts arise in a practice we aim to have no judgement either of having the thought or of what the thought is. This can lead us down the rabbit warren of the thought. Trying not being critical of ourself or making interpretations of the thought and just accepting it as it is.
By practising this idea of being less judgemental of ourselves and actions we can grow the muscle memory that can have a wider impact in the way we see ourselves day to day. Allowing us to nip in the bud when we become very self critical. Â
Emotional intelligence - Being able to recognise emotions and separate out what we feel, and our reactionÂ
It can be very hard in a moment when our emotions are overwhelming to act on instinct. When we meditate, the idea is to notice them as they bubble up, to recognise it not attach meaning or commentary. As we do this more we build the reflex to begin to notice these emotions, they still exist, they are still healthy to have and given life continues to happen it is inevitable that we will continue to feel. But as we begin to notice our emotions surfacing we can create distance and help to not be fully consumed by it in the moment (when we don’t want it to).
The Practice is the doing - Simply sitting down with the aim to meditate is the practice, and as above it isn’t about being successful or good at it.
In our world it can be very hard to be ok with lack of output, and it is instilled in us that this is our purpose. I believe finding purpose outside of this and joy and purpose in simply doing not the end result can be valuable.Â
Learning to sit and be present and comfortable with yourself can give you an internal connection and confidence. A place to return when the world can be chaotic and showing your true value is not in the external validation that our culture pushes
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Perfection isn't the goal - learning acceptance of one's own flaws and challenges
Many of us have ingrained the want to be right, perfect and good at all we put our mind to. Challenging this internally is hard, we often attach much of our self worth and value from this type of validation.
The practice of accepting that the goal isn’t to be good but just try can be applied throughout our lives. Taking pleasure or at least learning from the learning and experience from the process even if nothing else. And as we practise a form of meditation it actively aligns our thoughts to this way of being. Accepting we have flaws, we are a growing changing organism and spirit that takes work
Everyday brings something different
Like life it shifts and changes and it's hard if not impossible to have the same experience twice. Like the first concert, kiss it can be amazing but never quite the same going ahead. We can revel in our past, or crave having a similar experience in the future and grief in the idea that this won't happen again we often dismiss. Beginning to accept this can also bring us to really appreciate the present moment.
So where do I start? I am not here to sell you another app, but of course there are many but also lots on youtube. Simple mantra meditations and being practised are a great way to start. The key is to start small, to help it be manageable and fit into your life. As with anything, set yourself up for success (I am aware of the irony in this) . Start with 2 mins each morning and gradually grow. If you don't manage every morning, no need to be hard on yourself. Find a comfortable place to sit and be proud you did that. I will link to a few videos and apps below as good guides.Â
The concept of practice with no specific goal can go against how we view the world. Much of society is built on the idea of work and reward, where the reward is clear. Often with meditative practice the reward is not always clear. We get a sense it is there but it can be hard to put our finger on what we gain from it. Perhaps we miss it when it no longer exists. We can over intellectualise and not feel or be in touch with our own essence and guide that sits inside, it can also be an uncomfortable place to be but the learnings we take away are often bigger than we realise.
A few recommendations
Great Breathwork: https://www.breathewithjames.com/
Good for beginners: Headspace - start with the introductory course and it walks you in step by step
Good for exploring different types: Insight timer
I will put together a longer list in the coming weeks but please add your recommendations below in the comments
I hope this offered a different perspective, I would love to hear from you, if you have experience in meditation or are brand new and thinking of starting.
Hey, Morgen. Thank you so much for recommending my breathwork - I really appreciate it.
Really boring favour to ask: I'm having a few issues with SEO for my new website jamesdowler.com due to links to my old website breathewithjames.com - is there any chance the link could be swapped to jamesdowler.com
It would be hugely appreciated!